why so green and lonely?

S.S.D.Y

2012-01-11T09:34:00.003+08:00

A new year has rolled and I wasn't reflecting on the past year a few minutes into 2012 as that genius movie, Inception just started on HBO. I did my reflection somewhere around the time when Leo was showing Ellen Page her first taste of mind-bending reality.

It only took me a few seconds to do my past year reflection as I knew it wouldn't bring me much good to do it. It was also a testament of how powerful human brain was in processing a year's worth of data and getting to the conclusion.

I knew that 2011 was another disappointment, so I didn't need to relive all the negatives in life.

So here we are now in 2012, whether we're living it just day-to-day or going through the motion or whatever shit it is, we just hope and pray for the best.

At least if it's still going to be a bad year, we don't need to be sad about it just in case the fearmonger was right.

not so smart

2011-04-18T15:48:00.005+08:00

I keep seeing more toddlers and kids transfixed to a tablet computer or smartphone while they're having their meals or being spoon-fed. I'm not sure whether it's the same when they're in their homes or only in public places. In my opinion, it's not a good thing to do. Does it mean that they won't eat without the tablet or phone? Whatever happens to the good ol' days of concentrating to your meals?

If the parents did it because that's the only way their kids would sit happily for a meal, then for me they're just taking the easiest way out.

It's not just children who are affected with tablet or smartphone. One can only look at the seated passengers in a morning train. Almost all of them look down at their smartphones, either playing games or watching movies.

However, the most tragic sight is when a couple seated for their meal are busy looking down at their smartphones instead paying attention to each other.

Is your partner very boring that you need to keep yourself interested through games? Is updating your Farmville or Restaurant Story a matter of life & death that it can't wait after the meal is over?

We have to admit that technology changes a lot of things in our lives. It's supposed to make our lives better instead of making it worse. If playing games on your phones is preferable than talking to your partner or parents, then what's the use of having another person in your life? One has to draw a line when personal interaction is required in his/her life, and when to keep the phones in their pocket.

Personally, I'm not tempted to upgrade to smartphones or tablets. I resist the urge because I don't need it. I don't need to browse all the time, I listen to music through my MP3 player, and I don't need to play games every time. I only need my mobile to make & take calls, send SMS, and take pictures.

But I finally used a smartphone after my old & reliable mobile was finally out of service. I did it because there wasn't any standard mobile that's up to my liking, and I also felt that smartphone is the future, whether I like it or not. I upgraded, tried to accept it, and the only good thing about it was that it made waiting less boring. That's the only benefit of having a smartphone for me until today.

So the next time we're talking or eating and I smash your phone with my baseball bat, you'll know why I do that.

coffee beans/stars

2011-04-07T14:31:00.019+08:00

In my first business trip to Bangkok, my client took my colleague and me to a restaurant behind their office building. As it was my first trip to Bangkok, I just followed them and trusted their palates. Soon enough, I found out that they brought us to the right place. Because by the moment they handed me the menu, I immediately drooled by looking at all the food pictures there.

It was a big menu, and full of big close-up picture of the food. If food photography or styling was able to generate appetite from the customers, then the restaurant did a very good job on it.

We didn't order anything because we didn't know what to eat, so we let the client do the ordering for all of us. Then, the food came and they were around 5-6 different dishes enough for all of us to share. I didn't remember all of them, but I did remember the pad thai, and also one type of spring roll with the skin that reminded me of sun pan. I also remembered looking at the prawns in some of the dishes and wondered at their size and how succulent they were.

I didn't know if it was because of the company who came with us, or the food. But the lunch was very enjoyable, and I kept marvelling at how delicious all the things that I ate on that day. After we were already full, the dessert came.

The waiter served a couple of cakes to our table, and me not particularly having sweet tooth, took a bit of the cake just for being polite. I instantly regretted not taking a bigger part of the cake. It was so good and made me crave for more. I think it was some kind of cheese cake. And if it wasn't for my full tummy, I could have ordered another cake to finish for myself.

Since then, I made it a point to visit the restaurant's outlets at CentralWorld or Siam Paragon whenever I visited Bangkok; because those two were the nearest to my hotel. But after CentralWorld was burned down by the demonstrators last year, I wasn't sure if it's still there. At least the one in Siam Paragon should still exist.

Therefore, I was so happy when I found out that the restaurant has opened a branch here. The Sunday paper reviewed the restaurant, and I was determined to go there to see if it's as good as the original one in Bangkok.

I realized that there's a slight difference in the name. I'm not sure whether it's because there's already another coffee outlet here which have used that name as part of their brand.

My wife came first to the restaurant, and while waiting for me she's ordered a Brownie Pudding cake. I took one bite, and then finished everything. So yummy!

Then, we ordered the main dish. We had tom yam prawn, then my wife ordered tofu with crab meat, chicken, & pork, while I ordered Lad-Na with beef.

Tom yam came first, and it was a hearty soup. Hot, spicy, and fulfilling. I particularly loved the mushroom they put inside the soup. There's one type of mushroom that I especially liked. I didn't know what type of mushroom it was, but it looked like a thick bamboo shoot. You could also taste that the restaurant used quite a bit of coconut milk for the soup, because it's quite thick.

Next, my Lad-Na was served. I thought the waiter delivered a wrong dish because it didn't look like in the menu. In the menu, my Lad-na looked like Papa instant Kway Chap, while the one on my table was like a big prawn cracker. Only when I picked up the "cracker", I found out the beef, vegetable, and the gravy soup underneath it. Furthermore, I realized that the "cracker" must be drenched with the gravy. Soon after, the "cracker" became soft and looked like the one in the menu :) My Lad-Na was also good, and I particularly liked the gravy because it tasted as I imagined it would be.

The last to arrive was my wife's tofu dish, and it was definitely worth the wait because it was also delicious. The gravy tasted almost the same with my Lad-Na, but it was even better when you ate it with steaming rice.

In overall it was very satisfying & fulfilling, and it managed to uphold the same standard like their outlet in Bangkok; in a sense that I came out of the restaurant happy & full. We'll definitely be back and bring along our friends & families as well.

on oversharing

2011-03-15T14:10:00.000+08:00

I've been very grumpy for the last several months, and things that I encountered in life didn't help my temperament either. One of the things that I usually do to take a break from the rage is to go to social networking site. However, lately it only makes it worse.

My biggest issue is with the News Feed. Even though, I don't need to deal with useless game invitation anymore, the problem now moves to people within my Friends List. These friends overflow my News Feed with all aspects of their lives. Including some that I don't think are not necessary, unimportant to others, and even bordering on oversharing. It's too much information, people!

Goddamit, I don't need to know where you check in EVERY HOUR. I don't need your "wise" quotes EVERY 10 MINUTES. I don't need to see the same picture taken from multiple angles. I don't need to see what you wear and what's on your face EVERYDAY. And I certainly don't need to know the story of your love life. Yeah you've been rejected/dumped/got into a fight. Boo hoo. Move on, you're not the only one. It's too bad that you haven't realized that life sucks. I've had enough drama in my life, and if I want to see more drama, I'd go to the cinema and pay for it.

All of these make me feel like a voyeur and I'm really not comfortable with it. Don't people respect or have a need for privacy anymore? Life is private and social networking doesn't mean you have to be "social" in every part of your life.

The worst case was when one of my friends was tagged in a picture of a woman breastfeeding her son. If the picture is discreet and cover things that should be covered, it should be fine. But it's not, and it's almost a full blown XXX picture. The guy who posted the picture should be court-martialed and then executed for idiocy.

Previously, this pet peeve is not an issue, because there's a feature where one has an option to hide updates from people that they don't want to see. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I gleefully put several names on that list. I don't have the heart to unfriend them, because even though they're not really close with me, I once interacted with them in my life.

I have even contemplated to cancel my account altogether. But I still have the need to interact with my friends, and the site is a convenient way to keep in touch with them.

When I can't really stand it anymore, the last resort would be to sort out my List, unfriend the worst repeat offenders, or enroll myself in an anger management course. It's not a bad idea to tell everyone that you join anger management course as your Status Update. It's surely not over sharing, right?

another decision time

2011-03-14T16:43:00.003+08:00

The idea grew overnight. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that I don't have the patience nor the passion to stay longer to do it. Examples from the last couple of months only strengthen the notion.

This whole idea of being in the rat race is really inevitable and you're always on the lookout for greener pasture. But will the pasture be actually greener? Will it be better? Will it make me happy? Can I really get it?

Another decision to ponder. Another gamble to take.

on daring the devil

2011-03-11T13:19:00.005+08:00

I need to make one thing clear. I'm NOT an adrenaline junkie. But I love whitewater rafting, am longing to go bungee jumping, try the most challenging roller coaster, and do skydiving. I can't really explain why I want to do it, other than there's something inside me that's dying to try that out.

When I was in Bali, I almost went to A.J. Hackett to do my bungee jumping there, until the wife said that she'd let me do it only after I left her 100 billion rupiahs in her bank account. I sulked because she wouldn't accept installment either.

Even when we were in Movie World Gold Coast, she didn't allow me to try Batwing Spaceshot and Superman Escape. Superman Escape is just a normal roller coaster, while Batwing Spaceshot is probably more exciting because the riders will be shot 60 metres up and then going back down again.

Therefore, I rejoiced when Universal Studios Singapore announced that their main attraction would be a dueling Battlestar Galactica roller coaster. I drooled while reading the news and imagining what it's like to be strapped in that seat and have your world turned upside down for 3 minutes. I was happy because it's closer to home and I could go by myself.

However, a couple of weeks after they opened the park, they had to close the roller coaster as one of the seats fell down during their morning test. So they suspended its operation indefinitely until they've fixed the issue.

That's why I was a bit disappointed when I finally went to Universal Studios Singapore with my sister's family last year. I played all the attractions with my brother-in-law & nephew, and there's nothing challenging for me. The closest thing was when I tried the Canopy Flyer in the Jurassic Park area. Something didn't feel right when you're hanging 30m above the ground and your feet couldn't feel anything solid beneath them.

Then, we arrived at Revenge of The Mummy. My sister wanted to come along until the usher told her to store her bags in the locker room. She didn't want to do that, so she decided to stay behind and wait for us. In hindsight, it was a correct decision.

The three of us climbed the stairs and queued inside the mock pyramid complete with spiderwebs, fake sarcophagus, mummified Pharaohs, and lights from iPhone. I didn't know the Egyptians loved their iPhones so much.

When it's our turn to board the roller coaster, my brother-in-law, who only joined the ride because his son asked him to, asked to sit at the back of the ride as he said it'd have the least impact. So we followed him and sat at the last row. We're still joking and laughing when suddenly the roller coaster drop backwards making us the first and the worst to feel the impact.

All hell broke loose and we all screamed like there's no tomorrow. It's a non-stop twist and turn that I can understand what Sir Alex Ferguson meant when he said Ryan Giggs could make defenders have twisted blood. The complete darkness only made it worse because we couldn't anticipate what's next coming our way to lessen the impact. It felt like forever and there were times when I wanted to open the straps and jumped out of the ride.

I didn't think I could be happier when the ride was finally over. My 6-year old nephew, whom I admit is braver than me, was very quiet; a sign that the ride was also terrifying for him.

The final insult, however, was displayed after the Exit door. There's a small stall showing the automated pictures of us while we were in the roller coaster. I managed to find one picture of us in which my nephew was white as a paper, my brother-in-law was somewhere between losing his mind and collapsed, and that was me with mouth open as wide as the universe and eyes almost popped out of the socket. I didn't know I could audition for Jim Carrey's part in The Mask.

It was an image that I would remember forever because it's probably how I will look like when finally Grim Reaper taps me on my shoulder.

The experience didn't kill off my daredevil instinct. Instead, it only gives more fuel to the fire. I still long for finally doing bungee jumping.

But first, another visit to Universal Studios Singapore beckons. They finally managed to get the all-clear for Battlestar Galactica roller coaster. So it's time to wear that brave face, join the queue, put the straps on, and let's see if I can replicate the same facial expression again.

This time around, I won't listen to my brother-in-law.

sun pan

2011-03-08T17:05:00.002+08:00

When I was growing up in Lampung, one of the things that I loved the most was the number of food sellers passing by on our street every day. There was also a variety of food sold depending on the time of day.

In the morning, you can order mie bakso or miso as what we call in Lampung. It was basically a bowl of beef ball soup, accompanied with yellow egg noodle or bihun (rice vermicelli) and a sprinkle of fried shallot. I didn't know what they put in the soup, but I would think it would contain beef bones, offal, plus fats. There were rumours that some other sellers would put other things beside those items to get more customers. But then, it is another story for another post.

You could order your miso based on your preference, types of noodle, and condiments. Mine always consisted of meat balls, egg noodle & rice vermicelli, lots of sweet soya sauce, a bit of chili sauce, and no tomato ketchup.

The miso seller's name was Bejo. He was definitely the darling of our street because of his miso. There was once a time when he was gone from our street because local police prohibited him to do his business from the sidewalk. We missed him a lot, and rejoiced when he finally was able to deliver his miso as usual several months later.

Another food that you could order in the morning was Soto Ayam. This one was the Javanese version with chicken, small beansprout, rice vermicelli, perkedel (potato cutlet), and also fried tempeh. You could also order to have rice added into your soto. As the same case with Bejo's miso, you would need to wait around 30 minutes to have the food delivered as you weren't the only hungry people on the street.

More food types could be found in the afternoon such as fried beancurd. You could order a few beancurd and then they would slather sweet soya sauce or chili sauce on top of your beancurd.

Another food would be the otak-otak or otah for those living in Singapore or Malaysia. It was essentially fish paste wrapped in banana leaf which would then be steamed before it was then grilled. You would eat otak-otak with peanut sauce.

Indonesian version of otak-otak was quite different with the version found in Singapore & Malaysia. While our version was white, quite sweet, and firmer in texture, otah was a bit orange-ish and spicier. Otah never looked appealing for me, that's why I never ate it here.

Other than otak-otak, our favourite seller also sell ketan (sticky rice with shredded coconut) that you would eat with sambal chili. You would need to use your hand to eat it, because afterwards nothing beat the joy of licking every leftover coconut or sticky rice from your fingers.

Actually, there was another guy who sold otak-otak, but we never bought from him because of his aggressive style. When he came to our store, he would drop his otak-otak basket and then tell us that his otak-otak were still hot and asked whether we wanted them. All of this in a tone and style that you would see & hear whenever a guy wanted to have a fight with you. You're supposed to sell otak-otak and not challenge your customer to a fight, dude!

Another seller who was totally different than the agressive guy was the Pecel lady. Pecel is almost similar with Gado Gado, except for the fact that Pecel has more types of vegetable in it and that Pecel uses rempeyek (peanut crackers) rather than the normal crackers or Emping used in Gado Gado.

The lady also had a unique style in the way she carried her items. She would put all the vegetables and peanut sauce on a wide bamboo basket which was then carried on top of her head! On her back, she would carry the rempeyek can just like what you saw in young ladies selling jamu gendong.

We would then choose the vegetables that we wanted, which she'd put on a banana leaf and pour peanut sauce on top of it. If you like it, you could also put rempeyek on top of the veggie before she poured the sauce. That's my preference, really. I could probably finish the whole can of rempeyek soaked in peanut sauce. Getting sore throat afterward is just the problem for another day.

The last food and my most favourite from them all was sun pan. It was a traditional Chinese snack made of steamed sago flour with minced pork & bean, or bamboo shoots. It might be similar with the Teochew version of choi pan, but sun pan's skin was smoother and more transparent. Not to mention much better :)

In my whole life, there's only one sun pan seller ever. The same guy keeps going around selling sun pan from when I was small until now. Some of my childhood friends also swear that they only know him when it comes to sun pan.

Recently, I asked my Mom to bring some sun pan for me when I came to Jakarta. She called me that she couldn't find the seller. Then, several minutes later, she texted me saying that I was damn lucky because after she hung up on me, she saw the sun pan guy on the sidewalk!

What's more amazing was that this guy told my Mom that he didn't work for his old boss anymore. However, he now works for a new boss and this boss also produces sun pan! It's like the guy is born to sell sun pan for life. If that's not dedication or destiny, then I don't know what else it is.

Sadly after all these years, I still don't know his name. I just call him "Bang". So, abang Sun Pan, wherever you are, this post is for you. To honor your dedication, and to thank you for the unlimited joy that you've brought me whenever you called to announce that you've arrived...

"Suuun Paaan"

on patience

2011-01-16T18:37:00.004+08:00

I was always proud of my ability of being patient. No, I wasn't those who they said are "as cool as a cucumber". But I'm good enough to stay calm in any situation. And I've never lost my temper to anyone. Except for that one guy when I was in my last year of elementary school.

As far back as I could remember, I've never involved in a fistfight with anyone. I didn't look for one, and I wasn't interested in being a participant either. I'd rather avoid conflict because life is already maddening enough for me, and another problem is totally out of the questions.

And I'm pretty happy with that achievement. Until a few years ago.

It was when I found myself screaming at the top of my lungs to someone. Throwing things to the wall or any direction, being destructive, and secretly wishing of having a baseball bat to smash it to anyone or anything that I hate.

Remember that patience that I thought I had in an abundance? They all have been shredded to pieces.

It's quite distracting because I find myself not being able to concentrate myself fully to the tasks in hand or life. All I want is to scream and let all those anger out. The worst thing about it is that I kinda like it.

It felt like Darth Vader had just presented a ribbon-wrapped key to unlock my Dark Side.

When I tried to psychoanalyze myself, I thought it just happened because all things in my life just decided to conspire against me. That it's just a phase in life that would soon go away, and I'll become my patient self again in no time.

The question is what if I was wrong? I hate not having the ability to control myself. Perhaps I need to go to China, hike a mountain, find a Shaolin temple, and learn from some old Master like Kwai Chang Caine (RIP, Grasshopper). Hmm, that's not a bad idea, actually.

In the meantime, let me think of that baseball bat first.

2010 movies

2011-01-06T13:23:00.003+08:00

2010 was history, and in terms of film-watching, I'd watched 71 movies last year. It worked out to about 6 movies watched in each month, or almost 2 movies a week. I think it was quite a lot, but I'm sure there are many people out there who may even have a higher number.

From those 71 movies, here are the 10 which are the least enjoyable, and the most enjoyable for me in alphabetical order.

The Least Enjoyable Movies Watched in 2010

1. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Roger Ebert considered this one of the best movies in 2009, but not for me. I wasn't sure what the iguana symbolized, and I didn't care at all. Luckily, Eva Mendes was still the cure for sore eyes here.

2. Box, The

The movie was depressingly long. Coming from someone who's as depressed as me, it means really, really bad. I couldn't wait for the end credit to appear.

3. Case 39

I couldn't even remember what this movie was about. It was that bad.

4. Cop Out

Tracy Morgan & Bruce Willis were horrible. Thank the Lord for Stifler!

5. Gamer

What a mess. A noisy mess.

6. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1

They said that the reason the book was split into 2 movies wasn't commercial. I didn't believe it at all after coming out of the cinema.

7. Jennifer's Body

The only silver lining from this one was Diablo Cody's witty dialogue.

8. Ninja Assassin

If you watched this movie, you would believe that human body contained 10 gallons of blood. Sho Kosugi looked cool, though.

9. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Watching this movie was painful for me because I loved the books and the movie sucked big time. I wasn't sure what Rick Riordan thought about this movie, although I would be pretty upset if I were him. But I still hope that they will continue making the remaining 4 series.

10. Skyline

Special effects: 9

Everything else: -20

It's movie like this that gives sci-fi genre a bad name.

The Most Enjoyable Movies Watched in 2010

1. Brothers

I haven't watched the original Danish movie, but this one was pretty good for me. Probably the best movie that explored the emotional effect of wars in Iraq or Afghanistan so far.

2. Despicable Me

I was alternating between Toy Story 3, Despicable Me, and How to Train Your Dragon. But in the end, the minions won it for me.

3. District 9

How can you not love this movie? It's refreshingly original and it gave us Murdock!

4. Funny People

With the stellar cast assembled by Judd Apatow & Adam Sandler, you would be out of your mind if you're bored with this one.

5. Hurt Locker, The

The Academy loved it, and so did I.

6. Inception

There's no 2010 without this movie.

7. Inglourious Basterds

I was hoping the movie would keep going and never end. The last time I felt like that was while I was watching The Dark Knight, and The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King.

8. Kick-Ass

Never mind Nicolas Cage. Just focus on Chloe Grace Moretz.

9. Social Network, The

You can't take your eyes off of the screen. It's tightly woven, and hard-hitting. However, the worst thing of this movie was having the feeling that you could be one of the guys there, and you have missed to take part in the once-in-a generation opportunity.

10. Up In The Air

Those who wanted to be like George Clooney's character, raise your hands! OK, I don't need to count, all of you have raised your hands.

tempus fugit

2010-07-22T22:54:00.005+08:00

I was on my way back last night when I kept looking at Oasis’ Time Flies (1994-2009) box set in the plastic bag. The title and the years somehow transported me back to my life 15 years ago. And what a trip back it was.

Although the band started in 1994, my first contact with them was in 1995 through Wonderwall and Don’t Look Back in Anger. I’d just started my freshman year and being in a new place, new system, I was grasping for a firm grip on life.

The Morning Glory album was a total blast for me in a sense that not since NKOTB’s Hangin’ Tough or Nirvana’s Nevermind that I could really enjoy all songs in an album. I was easily hooked, and I couldn’t stop humming Wonderwall wherever I went.

It became even better once I’d discovered Defintely Maybe. While Morning Glory was more commercial & melodic, Definitely Maybe was what Oasis was all about. Their whole image, sound, and style as a band was defined by that album. It was loud, cocky, and had all the materials to turn 5 normal guys into rock n’ roll stars.

Oasis’ songs quickly became the anthem of my life back then. It had everything that I need. Invincibility (Live Forever), romance (Wonderwall), confidence (Supersonic), diversion (Cigarettes & Alcohol), and probably the Bohemian Rhapsody of my generation (Champagne Supernova).

Even after Morning Glory, when the band started to take the downward route for their fame, I would suddenly out of nowhere hum Live Forever, or Don’t Look Back in Anger. Sally somehow had taken a permanent residence in the back of my mind.

From the first day I listened to Wonderwall until now, I’ve reached the highest bliss, dropped down to the deepest sorrow, wailed of sadness like a mad man, laughed hard, and seen loved ones come & departed. But through it all, among the joy & sadness, one melody from Oasis is always around like a lucky coin that’s always there whenever you need it. It’s the soundtrack for perhaps the most important part of my life.

When I finally caught their concert last year, I thought the cycle was complete. I was wrong. With the band breaking up, Time Flies box set and its music video DVD is the last piece of the missing puzzle.

I’m here now, and though the band is not, they will always be in me one way or another. This is a toast to the greatest band in the world; an appreciative gesture from one mortal soul who’s been touched by the Gods and their music.

Here’s for the reunion, and the next time Noel or Liam punches the other in the gut.

no more

2009-04-27T23:01:00.003+08:00

Please stop the music,
it's getting too much to bear
Forget the fairy tale,
I've chosen to be a non-believer
Leave me be,
As I've reached the end

the Sally & Lyla affair

2009-04-23T18:19:00.004+08:00

It's Sunday evening, Oasis is in town, and the sky's been wet since morning. Are you sure this is not Manchester?

Let's do an age check. Some guys are in their early 20s with their City kit on. What's their first Oasis song? Anything from Standing album? Are they here just to follow the hype or just to headbang to anything loud? Do they even know that City is shite?

Welcome to the Gallagher temple where we all come hoping that we could become a rock n' roll star for just one night, and the gods return the worship with incredulous look like they don't give a single damn about it.

I'm referring to our heavenly Liam, of course.

Come in, feel free to scream along, the mass is in full session now.

Liam shows off his new skill of biting the tambourine, and balancing it on his head. What an amazing talent! And Noel really shows us who's the ringleader of the band, even though he keeps thanking us and taking the mickey out of those coming with Scotland flag.

There's no question which songs get the most response from the audience. At least the girl next to me seems to buy the ticket only for Wonderwall. But the highlight must be when all of us loudly lamented why Sally can wait.

Then it's over. The gods return to where they belong, and we are back to be merely mortal. Back to our own shit life serenaded by Blue Moon.

Those bloody Gallaghers and their City..

Setlist:
1. Fuckin' In The Bushes
2. Rock 'n' Roll Star
3. Lyla
4. The Shock of The Lightning
5. Cigarettes & Alcohol
6. To Be Where There's Life
7. Waiting For The Rapture
8. The Masterplan
9. Songbird
10. Slide Away
11. Morning Glory
12. The Importance of Being Idle
13. I'm Outta Time
14. Wonderwall
15. Supersonic
16. Don't Look Back In Anger
17. Falling Down
18. Champagne Supernova
19. I Am The Walrus

puzzled happiness

2009-04-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

a piece of white space is laid out in front of me
one by one, each piece of the puzzle assembles itself from the past
i can almost see the whole picture now
it's a big, grinning, happy face
it's funny how it looks like mine

manage

2009-02-19T01:13:00.003+08:00

I looked at my business card and wondered why there should be a "manager" stated there. It was more confusing as I felt that I wasn't that good in managing.

I'm not doing particularly well in managing my life, let alone people or stuffs at my workplace.

Things became more obvious recently when the stuff given back to me was more the result of doing it for the sake of doing it, rather than learn to do it and evolve from there.

I know this is the first time you're doing it. But, you're supposed to think while doing it! All of those explanations and examples surely should lead you somewhere, right?

Mistakes were expected and I'm totally fine with it. But, the failure in grasping the whole concept and thinking outside of the instruction really left me exasperated.

Either I was that bad in explaining so you failed to see the whole big picture, or you're just loving Nike that much.

Let me take look at that business card one more time.

on laughing matter

2009-02-15T02:32:00.004+08:00

I just finished watching Ben Stiller's The Heartbreak Kid on HBO. It's a movie that I've been eyeing ever since its trailer made me laugh so hard. Unfortunately, its DVD never made it to my nearest VideoEzy. So, HBO it is.

Anyway, hours after watching the movie, I realized that I really laughed outloud. It got me thinking of the last time I did that. I was kinda shocked to know that it was a long while back.

Is it really difficult now to laugh silly for ourselves?

I would think that it has everything to do with the situation we're all in now. Every time I open the newspaper or read online, it's always the same thing about people losing job or getting pay cut, and how number for a certain company or country is getting worse. It's making life even more depressing and difficult.

Amidst the gloom, the box office revenue tracker in America reported that movie income this year is actually increasing. A sign that more and more people try to get a quick solace from all of the stressing stuffs.

I know that for some people it's a luxury now to go to the movie to get the quick fix. But you can always find comforting things from anywhere.

It could be a quiet dinner moment alone with your spouse, a giggle from your baby, chatting with friends about nothing in particular, or in my case getting a chance to keep in touch with my elementary school friends and reminisce about things that happened 20 years ago in our lives.

It's strange that you can't help but smile now at things that made your knees weak two decades ago. But if it puts a smile to your face, and make your 9-to-5 bearable a bit longer, then do it and do that even more.

While a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel isn't too much to ask. There's no harm in keeping our hopes up.

May we all be safe and keep uploading those old pictures online!

totally

2009-01-20T15:31:00.002+08:00

I've made it known clearly
You've provided your response
Let's not make it over the line
We won't visit the same road anymore

I totally understand

another.gone

2008-12-30T14:45:00.005+08:00

Another year will soon pass and I'm not sure if I want to look back on it.

While not all things are bad this year, some really succeed in making me fall to the lowest point of my life and see everything draped in dark shadows with no lights in sight.

Then some other things are so good they bring joy to my life and tears of happiness.

This is yet another year to learn, fail, fight, rage, curse, achieve, discover, and grow up.

But, is it also another year wasted for me? Is it in this year when decisions are finally made and separation loom large?

It's almost gone now, and I really hope that I come out alright from it and have my skin thicker for the next one.

Just bring it on and come what may. The previous phrase looks good to the eyes, though I don't believe I actually have that mentality.

head down

2008-12-04T02:02:00.002+08:00

I was waiting for my turn in the doctor's office this afternoon when it came right through my mind.

It's THAT simple. What a revelation.

The question is now whether I can fully committed to doing it and not to waver.

I'll be the first one to admit that I'm not the best person in the world to focus at what I do. Hell, "difficult to concentrate" is one phrase that you'll always see in the description for Gemini.

But I mean I'm really stubborn. Why can't I be stubborn for this thing? Don't look for silly reasons to let myself stray somewhere.

It's time to ACTUALLY do what I write. Head down, steam ahead.

yogyakarta

2008-10-21T22:38:00.004+08:00

New Year's Eve
Fire in a nearby hotel
Watching at banci Malioboro curiously
Blurred pictures

Laughing faces
Throwing sandals into the room
For no reason at all
Her face, her smile

Long road home
Puffing last ever cigs at the back row
Knowing all would be gone once the bus stopped
Decisions to make, dreams to bury

Not a fairy tale
Nor a well-structured make believe
Just a memory to keep
When time is closing in

stumble towards each day

2008-10-20T13:53:00.002+08:00

The past month was like a whirlwind to me. It came and went quickly, and I hardly remembered what I did then.

I was swamped with works, and was able to get out of it black and blue.

During that time, some things also became clearer to me. Things that I wouldn't ever consider previously, but now I could make a decision about them instantly.

All things that were dear to me were just swept aside. Whenever I had a bit of time to breathe, I just wanted to make use of it for myself. I needed that to stay sane and sober.

I was at the lowest points of my life most of the time, and everything was always looking grey and blurred to me. Even watching United also felt distant now.

Maybe I was just tired of the pettiness of life and everything about it.

sparks-less

2008-09-12T15:13:00.003+08:00

Amidst all the smiles and exchanges of views
One thing stands out undeniably
Something that I've known long before
It doesn't take that long to know the truth
And I hate it when I'm right

room 821

2008-09-04T01:44:00.003+08:00

It's still bright across the street
They're telling me that I'm not alone
And you're also there
Revealing new things that I haven't known before

Suddenly the world is getting better
At this lonely time of the hour

standing still

2008-08-25T16:46:00.001+08:00

where are you?
what have you got?
what have you done?
are you moving forward?
is it still worth living?

left behind

2008-08-23T16:39:00.002+08:00

Sickening
Depressing
Nosy
Boring
Negative
Weirdo

That's why people pack up their bags and leave.

keep it going

2008-08-09T22:42:00.003+08:00

There has been no contact at all for more than a decade, and somehow it's getting a bit intensive in the last weeks.

I really don't know what it is and what it means for me, but I really, really enjoy it.

What I'm sure of is that I can use it as another reason to look forward to in life. It makes everything more bearable, so thank YOU.

addictive

2008-08-02T00:10:00.003+08:00

You don't have to send me money or get me a star to make me happy. A simple "How are you?" once in a blue moon is more than enough to put me among the stars.

Nothing is better than starting the morning with seeing your name in my inbox. It's highly addictive and dangerous. Yet I can never get enough of it.

Just let me enjoy it while I can, and don't pull me out from this ecstasy. Please.

reason #125

2008-07-25T14:54:00.002+08:00

I was working last night when I decided to turn on my MP3 player with NKOTB's newest comeback single.

Then, the wife who was in the bathroom yelled asking if it was Jordan's voice. Even when she never heard the song before.

How can I not love her?

I should have known it as it's coming from someone who got suspended from the school because her picture was splashed on the front page of national newspaper on the day when she's supposed to be "sick" at home.

She didn't rest, but went to the airport to greet & scream at the Kids when they came to Jakarta years ago.

My wife, the Blockhead.

leave me be

2008-07-21T17:56:00.002+08:00

Some people have the traits where they can make you happy one second, and then reach for the noose on the next minutes.

I really don't get it why they have to keep bothering me and making me doing things that I hate. I think it all should stop the moment I leave the nest and sever all the financial ties.

I never realize how wrong I was.

Maybe I should stop giving them a cold shoulder or back, in my case. Maybe I should turn around, speak my mind, and be prepared for anytime they turn me into a stone.

Sometimes I really wish I were indeed a stone. Nobody to serve & please and I can just lay there unnoticed and give the finger to anyone & anything.

I believe that they're just supposed to watch over my back, see me rise or fall, and give me a smile whenever I need it the most. Just be my safety net, and that's it. I don't ask for anything else.

Problem starts when the safety net decides to wrap me tightly; much like the alien symbiote crawling towards Peter Parker and be one with him.

I really don't need another thing to squeeze my mind. It won't ever be enough, and I may actually start to reach the imaginary noose soon.

finally happening

2008-07-11T15:32:00.003+08:00

I've been knackered lately. Not only because work suddenly gets a little bit buzzing here & there, but also because I've been using my spare (and not spare) time to do something else.

Not that I'm complaining though. It feels great, and it feels like one thing that I should have been doing all these fucking years. I really wish that it will eventually lead me somewhere good.

Or I really shouldn't wish for it probably. I don't want to ruin it by immediately put a burden or expectation on it. It'd be good to just let it flow and see where it'll take me.

i do want to believe

2008-07-01T13:46:00.001+08:00

one lonely star

2008-06-28T02:21:00.003+08:00

Here I am again in a very familiar surrounding; just me and the computer.

Not to say I regret it though. I'm always appreciative of the time when I can just be alone with my troubling thoughts and all of them are vying for the primetime spot in my grey matters.

But this time around Madonna's Take A Bow is repeating endlessly.

I always love that song from the very first time it caught my ears until now. It's not because the matador, or the sexy music video. It's the song itself. All just seem to be perfect, from Babyface's background vocal, to its soothing tempo & arrangement. I just suddenly have the craving to get that song played in my hour of loneliness.

Looking back, I don't know whether I've been doing the right thing. I'm not sure if I should say what I wanted to say, or if I just let it go. Something just doesn't feel right about what I did. I don't want to be the bad guy here. You don't have to get told on what to do about that kinda thing. Your perspective should change automatically. With new status comes automatic realization of what you are and what you should do.

Sometimes silence doesn't always mean Yes. But I'd choose Yes anytime rather than upsetting the cosmic balance of the universe.

As long as I can still keep my place in the very corner of this dark room.

all gone

2008-06-26T12:07:00.002+08:00

If they're all now dissing me, then there's nothing else left for me here, is there? So why bother continuing it?

select and enjoy

2008-06-24T21:40:00.003+08:00

I used to think that life is about making choices and how we deal, cope, or adjust with the result of our decision.

The list is endless; A or B, supporting Manchester United or Liverpool (no contest here), hating Chelsea or Arsenal (both!), taking this or that job, or even deliberating between rice or noodle for lunch. Then, you wait & see what choice that life is gonna throw you next and the same process is repeated all over again.

It's like that one of Make Your Own Adventure series. Only this time, you can't skip several pages to know the actual result.

However, recently I feel more & more strongly that the choices offered to me are no longer options that I have the luxury to think about before making the decision. So what's the point of offering them to me if the selection is already decided beforehand? It's not life anymore, it's more suitable to call it slavery.

If that's the case, then why should I bother? All I just have to follow is the script already laid out before me. No discussion, no consideration, it's either this way or the highway, Jose.

It should be very easy to do so, but I think I still have this thing inside me called heart & mind. What if they say no to the plan? What if my heart & mind decide otherwise?

What will happen if I throw the script out of the window? Will thunder & lightning strike me down? Will they send me to the farthest point of the earth? Why should it be their way and not my way? Whose life is it anyway?

It leads me to think that God is not writing the story but it's the collaboration of people around me instead. Perhaps there's always a third option that I miss out in the fine print, and it has something to do with the Almighty.

Is it really just about making choices?

no. 17

2008-06-20T11:23:00.002+08:00

Different shorts
Different numbers
Different names

Same battle chant
Same results
Same green & white

It's no. 17
Time to raise another banner to the rafter

commercial head

2008-06-14T22:32:00.002+08:00

For all Radiohead's rant about commercialism and what they think & feel about it, they can't deny the fact that it's their fans who provide the final say. They can scream and curse all they want, but the fans will still shell out their money for all piece of works from the band.

If they're so against it, then they should just release all of their songs for free to the world and give the finger to EMI/Capitol from the start. Or give up all those dollar & cents that they've earned from the label to the charity of their choice.

The only thing that's gonna stop me from getting myself Radiohead's The Best of DVD is my bank's account.

all hails indiana

2008-06-03T19:14:00.003+08:00

The world's most loved archaeologist is back complete with his fedora and whip. And we missed him a lot, did we? I did, at least.

The story was meant to be Hollywood's best kept-secret, but I hit the spoiler right away from some guy who called the posting a "review". What a joke. If what he meant by "review" was to keep everyone from watching the movie, then he succeeded. When you do your so-called "review", you're not supposed to give away the movie! That's the essence of actually going to the movie! Ugh...

Anyway, I was kinda a bit disappointed after learning that Lucas & Spielberg decided to choose it as their topic. I thought it'd make the story cheap and not very creative. The moment the crystal skull is revealed, I just know that it would be quite similar with the story in Ruins, which is still the best The X-Files fiction out there.

But in the end you still have to give credit where it's due. And this time around, Indy can still crack his whip. Though I'm not that convinced with them following that Superman Returns-plot. It's very lame, I should say. But if that's the only way to keep the franchise going, then I'm all for it.

4 stars, baby...coz it's Indy, for God's sake!

beat LA!

2008-06-01T01:16:00.005+08:00

My love affair with basketball began since I was about 8 or 10 years old. It started mainly because Pa & Ma were ballers themselves (even though Ma would always remind us that she's a starter, while Pa was a benchwarmer :P).

Then, when I grew older and could watch TV past 9 PM, they were showing NBA matches on TVRI. I had no idea what NBA was back then. All I remembered was wondering on why they kept showing the same game from the same teams. The teams in bright yellow against the teams in green & white. I cheered on the green team without knowing who they were and why. I guess that's because I just like the colour.

It was only in the Nineties when the Jordan-generated craze swept the world that I realized that the old games on TVRI were actually the Finals series between Lakers (the bright yellow team) against Boston Celtics (the green & white team). I was actually witnessing one of the greatest rivalries among 2 legendary NBA teams. And back then I've pleaded my allegiance to one team only.

As years went by, I've learned the history of the team, the 16 championship banners, Red Auerbach, and of course the triumvirate of Bird, Parish, and McHale. My love for the team was unwavering even though we've turned from a legendary team into a laughing stock in the past 10 years. Until this season when Danny Ainge pulled KG & Ray Ray from the hat and made them Pierce's teammates.

Starting on next Thursday, I will be able to witness the same series again as both teams will meet in the Finals one more time since 21 years ago. And one battle voice will be summoned from the old Boston Garden passionately...

BEAT LA!! BEAT LA!!

winning reflected

2008-05-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

Right. Okay, we win it all in the end. This is not a post to gloat or boast, I've passed that stage now where all that's left is only that afterglow feeling of savouring everything in the shining light of victory.

But I just can't help it, can I? NOW YOU (yes, you know who) CAN ALL FUCK OFF!!

It's been another unforgettable season, and I couldn't remember any other time when I was more nervous than that early Thursday morning watching the drama unfolded itself in Moscow.

All is well in winning. Everybody gets the urge to forget all the pains and just soaks in the feeling. And if the Megastore cash registers keep on ringing to the roof, then you can't just mock the club as being Merchandise United. Tell it to your clubs' CEO and he won't care a bit about it as all clubs would love to be in United's position now.

I also try my best to contribute to the bottomline for the Glazers by ordering in some of that Champions League winners product range. And knowing myself, it's just another chance to remind me that my usual delayed decision-making will have impact to the future and other events.

Just great, eh? Now, where's that winning feeling? I could use a cup or two.

holland v

2008-05-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

We were saluting King Ludwig of Bavaria, and laughing when I suddenly just couldn't stop thinking about Creep. It was one of many sad songs that the singers sang during the night, and I made a remark why the singers chose to sing such songs with their guitars in such a supposedly-happy place.

The outcome was inevitable. It stabbed me right in the heart, twisted it deeper, left it there, and went.

I really don't belong here.

jog

2008-04-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

I had been doing my self-imposed diet for about 4 days when I joined the first after-office jogging session last Thursday. We jogged, or mostly walked in my case, around the Singapore River and back to the office. It turned out that there were quite a lot of people who also jogged during that time. So at least we're not the only ones getting the looks when we passed Clarke/Boat/Robertson Quay. I mean you're not visiting those places wearing sweaty shirt, shorts, and sneakers, right?

There were 9 of us that evening, and for the first 1 or 2 clicks we're still in the groups. Then, we're separated into 4 groups as we couldn't keep up with those with better stamina. But in the end, most of us managed to regroup somewhere near the office.

I had to admit that it was quite fun, and was such a welcome distraction to seeing cubicles all the time. I was also quite surprised with the distance that I ran. I guess it had to do more with pride than stamina after seeing most of the girls kept on running like they're seasoned marathoners.

Once we got cleaned up, we all went to Sakae Sushi for dinner. Then, the boss said the magic words. "Guys, eat & order whatever you want, ok?"

So much for my diet & self-discipline...

doubting no. 7

2008-04-14T02:37:00.000+08:00

I've had my doubts on Ronaldo ever since he joined the club. Not sure why. Maybe it's the stepovers, his early tendency to fall easily, and his preference to take the glory for himself rather than simply passing the ball to a more open teammate.

Maybe it's because Ruud and Keano had aired their disapproval of the boy in the training grounds, and both of them were the "been there, done that" guys so I tend to agree with them more.

But when Ronaldo is still at the club, while Ruud & Keano were shown the door, should've told us something about what the Boss sees within the boy. It speaks once again about the experience and uncanny instinct that he has about spotting talent.

Even after Ronaldo won his first league title last season and scoring more than 30 goals this year, I still wasn't fully convinced about him until last night.

We were one goal down, Chelsea was only 3-point away, and we got the penalty. No. 7 stepped forward and put the ball down. Lehmann was in the goal. The same scene was replayed again in my mind: Ruud, Lehmann, penalty, and Martin Keown the Ugly Monkey.

This time around Ronaldo looked down at the ball in full concentration; all United supporters around the world held their breath as our season rested on Ronaldo's shoulders. He kept his cool and scored when Ruud failed, and even when the penalty had to be retaken, he scored again near the same spot as the first one. We roared with him, and then my view of him would never be the same again.

He's proved lots of people wrong, and he's also proved me wrong. And I love it.

omg

2008-04-08T00:16:00.000+08:00

Is there any other happier news than this one?

noodlelicious

2008-03-11T02:12:00.000+08:00

Let's get this one straight. I love noodle; in fact I'm a maniac when it comes to noodle. And it doesn't help either that the wife shares the same appetite for all things noodle. Some of our happier times were spent in the morning while eating at our favourite noodle stalls.

So I kinda made it one of my priorities to find any good noodle places in the surroundings of my office and home after I moved here. But it's not an easy task as the style here was different with the one that we love back home.

Some obvious differences were the black vinegar used in the sauce, and the noodle itself which I think was a bit bland. Therefore, you could imagine how tortured we were when our cravings for noodle had reached its climax and there's nothing good to satisfy it.

We have to please ourselves with MyNoodle in Centrepoint food court which sold Jakarta-esque Mie Ayam Jamur for a while. But even it didn't last long as it closed last year.

Then out of the blue, we strolled into this noodle stall while we were in Chinatown area and instantly hooked with it. Its springy and smooth noodle was reminiscent of Indonesia's noodle, and it also came with minced meat which was very good for me.

The noodle was called Kolo Mee, and it was a specialty noodle from Sarawak Kuching in Malaysia. We were so happy that we were back there the following week as it's the only noodle here which has the closest resemblance to our kind of noodle. A couple of weeks later, the stall made its way to the Review column in the newspaper, and it's been adding quite a number of outlets islandwide so far.

The stall's name is Jia Xiang Sarawak Kuching Kolo Mee, and the one that we normally order consisting of char siew, wonton, and prawns. It costs S$6/bowl, and if it's not enough, you could ask for extra noodle which will cost you another dollar.

At least for the time being, we could rely on kolo mee supply to fulfill our desire for noodle. It should be able to last until our next trip back home where a noodle tour to our favourite haunts stalls will surely commence every morning.

comfort zone

2008-02-27T22:21:00.001+08:00

I chatted with a friend yesterday and he told me that he'd leave Jakarta, moved to some place, and started anew by opening his own business and stuff. I couldn't do anything but applaud and wish him well.

Other than being happy for him, I also felt kinda depressed coz he had that courage to take one extra step to the unknown and risk many things. I'm not sure if I'd be willing to do that, even though I know there are numerous people lining up behind me to give me the push to that uncharted territory once I give them a go.

Should we take a risk for the promise of a better life? How does one know it's gonna be better? What if it turns out to be worse? I won't be able to forgive myself if it goes wrong, that's why I'd take the risk only if I'm certain about the result.

Maybe this is a wrong post to make, writing it makes me even more depressed.

airshow

2008-02-26T03:51:00.000+08:00

0900 hours
I saw crowds in the bicycle area around Pasir Ris MRT Station while opening the door to leave the house. Felt something wasn't right.

0905 hours
My feeling was confirmed. The crowds were queueing for the shuttle bus to the venue. I went to buy battery for camera and some bread for breakfast first.

0915 hours
Started joining the queue from the bus interchange area, but luckily 'twas well organized as the queue lines were properly in place and people duly queued. One sausage bread was fully consumed while queueing.

0930 hours
Finally got to the end of the queue. The staffs were armed with portable barcode scanners and the eTicket was scanned before boarding the shuttle bus. I sat at the second row seat from the front. Not bad, eh?

0945 hours
Arrived at the venue, and more queue to enter the building.

0955 hours
Entered the building, got lost, and didn't know which way to go. I just followed the people in front of me. More queue for security checking just like in the airport.

1005 hours
Left the building and walked to the exhibition area. First things to see were some tanks and Apache chopper in the middle. My God, wasn't she beautiful!

1015 hours
Done admiring Apache. Next target was F35-Lightning II placed beside the Lockheed Martin chalet. Couldn't touch her with those fences around. I wondered if F22-Raptor was as cute as her.

1025 hours
People was surely crowding near the F35, so I wasn't surprised when RQ-4 Global Hawk didn't attract many people. This unmanned bird really looked odd, maybe it was designed for stealth purpose. I couldn't help but thinking of those facehuggers that Ripley blasted to death while taking pictures of the Hawk.

1032 hours
Next stop, RSAF's Chinook and F-16. No contest on which ones attracted more amateur photographers. The Falcon was really sleek, no wonder some christened it as fighter jet with the best design. Even with all the Sidewinders and missiles hanging on the wings, she still looked hot.

1045 hours
The next area belonged to USAF with 2 Hercules, 1 F-15, 1 F-18, 1 F-16 (single seater), and 1 B1-B Lancer. Definitely the best area to hang around. Not because of the pilots, but because of those steel babies. I know the Fighting Falcon was hot, but for me the Strike Eagle, and especially the Super Hornet were the bombs! The Lancer was just sitting in the middle coolly, but his presence alone was enough to let people know who's the Big Daddy there. I felt 90% of the kids here would go home and want to become a fighter jet pilot. The other 10% were happy enough to just buy the jet models because they sucked at Math and Science.

1107 hours
Was thinking of joining the queue at Wall's Ice Cream. A touch at my waistline suddenly brought me back to reality.

1108 hours
Approaching Airbus A380. I wondered if the other planes are mocking her at night for being that fat. I think F-16 would be the meanest mocker of them all.

1120 hours
Entering the Feature Pavillion. The first booth was selling plane models, toys, t-shirts, and fighter jet DVDs. Bought 1 Red Arrows DVD for $29. Wanted to get the F-16, F-15, and F-18 models too, but balked at its $23.90 a piece price. Normally it was sold only for $19.

1125 hours
Walking around the Pavillion looking for some freebies. Some kids got pins from the Bahrain Airport booth, but they didn't seem interested in giving me one. They had dates in their booth, though. Moved on and saw the Segway booth. Thinking to try it, but afraid I'd make a fool of myself (as usual). "Don't be afraid. You won't fall." overheard the staff telling the guy who's trying it. Yeah, right. Got my first booty finally; a pin and lousy cap from Changi Airport booth.

1140 hours
Moved on to the Main Hall. Didn't know where to go or what to see, just wanted to enjoy the aircon. Some of the booths were closed as they didn't expect some uncles from Toa Payoh would come and buy their defense missile today. Smart guy. The Israel booth seemed to give away free bags as seeing many people had it. Eventually arrived at the main door, and saw ST Engineering generously gave away something black in plastic. I got one, and saw an aunty already opened and used it. It was a bag, so I went back and asked for another one. Why did I become this kiasu? Must be something in the water here.

1210 hours
Already standing in front of the main door, waiting for the aerobatic shows to start. It was scheduled at 12.15 by the way. Took out my second & final bread because got sleepy listening to the emcees.

1225 hours
The Black Knights finally arrived using Foo Fighters' Learn To Fly. Good choice. They seemed to be pretty good. Emcee said that they'd be signing autographs at 2.30 PM. Wondered if some of them would end up at eBay, and if someone would actually buy it.

1245 hours
It's the Super Hornet's turn. The pilot was doing it solo, and the Super Hornet looked like the older sister with attitude. I liked her better than the Fighting Falcon.

1255-1305 hours
The Alenia Aermacchi and Korea's T-50 turn. Both looked to have similar model. Not so special. Then, it's F-15's turn. Quite bored here and people watching instead.

1306 hours
The Fat Mama A380 arrived. Of course, she didn't do any backflip like the Falcons or Hornet. She just flew here, flew there. Tilt here, tilt there, and gone. It's like watching Dumbo, if ya know what I mean.

1311-1330 hours
The Roulettes are here! The best show of the day, me thinks. They had more stunts than the Black Knights, and because their planes were slower, we could enjoy it more. Not sure if the crowds liked it as they surely would root for the Home team. Go Roulettes!

1332 hours
Going back to the Main Hall to see the rest of the booths. No more aerobatics. Just wandered around, grabbed one more bag from ST Engineering and then remembered about wanting to go to Jane's booth. Walked past Etihad's booth, and they too had dates ready on the plates. People definitely flocked there to ask one question while grabbing 3 dates at the same time. Once question answered, they'd leave the booth. But not before grabbing more dates.

1335 hours
Saw Aviation Week booth. Got 2 free magazines. Yay!

1340 hours
Saw long queues at Boeing booth. Wondered what it was about; turned out people queued for fighter jet poster cum calendar in a Boeing plastic bag. Common sense prevailed and decided not to join the queue.

1345 hours
Finally found Jane's booth, but it was closed and people from the booth across sitting on Jane's couch. Grabbed 1 copy of Jane's Defense Weekly. Mission accomplished.

1350 hours
Left the Main Hall, and walking towards the Exit. Finally felt hungry.

1405 hours
Saw lots of people already queueing for the shuttle bus back. Didn't look good.

1415 hours
Arriving at the queue place. Not organized as no clear place to wait for the bus. People directly swarmed any bus coming in, no queue at all. No police were around to sort things out.

1425 hours
The cops were here and spent some time discussing on how to best arrange the situation, while more and more people were swarming any incoming buses. Didn't look good at all.

1436 hours
The cops starting putting out some Police Line for the queue. The sun was burning hot, people were sweaty and stank, and tempers started to flare. The queue, if there's one, didn't move as the cops were still arranging the way.

1450 hours
Finally some kind of queue were forming albeit in 6-7 lines. At least people were getting closer & closer to the end of the queue. One Malay aunty provided free entertainment for us through her slanging match with one of the cops. Some people just can't keep their mouth shut. Can't blame the cop if he decides to start hitting her with the baton.

1540 hours
Was finally on board the shuttle bus and arriving back at Pasir Ris station at 1550 hours. Bought teh peng from Banquet on the way home. Gila, segerr banget!

1610 hours
Home sweet home. The legs were screaming in pain, and cold shower seemed like a Holy Grail at this point.

1615 hours
Noticing that my neck & face were sunburnt. All parts not covered by my t-shirt were darker than the others. Man, this is bad!

1630 hours
Thank God for cold shower. All's done...typing this while waiting for the Wife to wake up for sushi dinner. Looking forward to the next show in 2-year time with the sunblock on, definitely.

More photos.

truth

2008-02-11T18:37:00.000+08:00

What would you do if the truth that you seek will plunge you deeper into the darkness instead of setting you free? Would you continue or go to the shop and have your memory erased?

Would you suffer in the knowledge of knowing everything or would you suffer in not knowing the truth?

free dvds

2008-01-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

My free DVD rental prize will expire this Friday, so only a few days more to enjoy this unbelievable privilege.

I'm not sure if this prize will make my relationship with the shop staffs grow closer, as it seems that they're quite sick of seeing me popping up regularly without fail every 2 days to return the DVDs and rent the new ones. I don't give a single damn about it actually, why don't they curse the lady luck who preferred to pick my entry out of hundreds from that box? Maybe they won't have another lucky draw contest anymore in the near future, or if they do they probably ban me from entering it.

But honestly, it's already getting more difficult to select watchable movies from their catalogue as I've watched most of them and I don't want to waste my time in watching bad movies. Surely enough, I've picked up some gems here & there like this, or this, or even this one! :)

I'll probably start renting again in the end of February to give them time to replenish the catalogue, and also for me to save money to pay the rent. Or until the next time I win another lucky draw.

a-hole

2008-01-15T18:43:00.000+08:00

If you're think you're the only one who wants to jump off the ship whenever the first sign of trouble appears, it's either I'm dumb or you're just an asshole. I know I'm dumb, but this time I believe that you're just simply a fuckin' a-hole.

stupid

2008-01-04T02:08:00.000+08:00

Here we go. The annual stupidity act has come again. It's premeditated. It's useless. It's yielding nothing, but yet I'm still doing it every year. Maybe it's just my way of making up for all those years.

Feel free to bludgeon me to death. It could save some precious air for the world in the end.

Dumbass.

ah, 2008

2008-01-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

So here we are in 2008. We all should be happy, right? I mean with people wishing you and all a "happy" new year. Am I happy? Hmm, the question should be rephrased as "will I ever be happy?"

I've never felt that happy or optimistic for every coming year. It all felt the same for me. Same ol', same ol'. Nothing is different. But I have to admit that 2007 really left something worth remembering, even though the last few days of 2007 were a bit hellish for me. But then, that's another story for another bedtime.

I took a 4-day leave after Christmas but it didn't feel like holiday at all as I kept having this nagging feeling of having to check my mobile or email for work-related stuffs. If I had to ask Santa for something, it might be about being able to take leave or holiday without worrying about work at all. Well, here's a sad thing: Santa doesn't exist, quit whining.

I won a 1-month unlimited free rent from the DVD rental store, and I must admit that it had occupied the most part of my mind during my holiday. And I didn't regret a single bit of it at all because it didn't give me headaches, worries, and this feeling of wanting to smash one's handphone to the wall. So I'd rather win a 20-year unlimited free rent if possible anytime, anywhere.

A colleague asked about how the crowd was during New Year's Eve, and I said that I didn't know about it. It should be jam-packed with people I assume, as not everyone was watching Beerfest on HBO while trying to keep their minds off of the rage and at the same time trying to be amused & laughing at the supposedly funny movie.

Happy New Year, everyone. I really hope that you are happy.

28 reasons to be thankful for still being alive today

2005-06-02T13:07:00.000+08:00

1. My wife

2. Manchester United

3. My friends

4. My family

5. Upcoming summer movies

6. The Solomon Key - Dan Brown

7. Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling (due out July 16th)

8. Marvels 10th Anniversary Edition - Kurt Busiek & Alex Ross

9. Pringles Original Potato Crisps

10. Mamee Noodle Snack Chicken Flavored

11. I haven't been to Old Trafford

12. Superman Returns

13. I haven't finished watching the whole Voltus V VCD at home

14. Radiohead's Greatest Hits hasn't been released

15. I haven't done bungee jumping

16. Eating Kuo Tieh at Krekot

17. Watching movies in Puri 21

18. Driving in Jakarta streets on Saturday & Sunday morning

19. UNITED Magazine

20. Steven Spielberg & George Lucas have promised us "Indiana Jones 4", and I want to see them make good of their promise

21. New Zealand Natural Spotty Dog ice cream

22. Mie Naripan

23. Future possibility of having my own child

24. McDonald's Chocolate Ice Cream Cone

25. Pempek ayunan in Lampung

26. Single Disc head unit with MP3 & WMA capability in my car

27. Peaceful morning walk

28. Shopping at Borders

completion

2005-05-27T10:07:00.000+08:00

The past week had been like a whirlwind. It came fast, and turned everything upside down afterwards. It was started by Episode III, United losing a heartwrenching FA Cup Final, and a 3-day trip back to Lampung.

I don't want to dwell on the Cup Final, it broke my heart just to think of it. But, I really enjoyed the night out. Being finally able to see some old faces again, and cheered the team out wholeheartedly.

So, it's better to pour my heart out on what I think of ROTS. I managed to secure two tickets on Thursday, eventhough it's on the first row from the screen (I started to get dizzy after an hour, but the movie itself is worth the pain) and everything was just so perfect. Lightsabers fighting, cool new ships, great enemies (Grievous, Palpatine/Sidious), Chewie!, Yoda!, you name it, they have it.

The best parts for me were when Anakin first donned his mask and breathed, Obi-Wan vs Anakin, Obi-Wan vs Grievous (Lucas seemed to have this habit of having cool enemy in the prequels, starting from Darth Maul), Yoda vs Sidious, Palpatine when trying to seduce Anakin to the Dark Side (his words were very slithery and slimy that you can feel it oozing out from the screen. Such a masterful performance from Ian McDiarmid), and finally when Obi-Wan wounded Anakin and shouted "YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE!!" with that pained expression. The same feeling that was resonating to every Star Wars geek in the whole universe. I must admit that I shed a couple of tears there. Geez, I shed many tears during the movie! I'm such a sucker for this kinda thing :P

That's it. No stones left unturned. Everything's answered. The saga is complete, and George Lucas leaves us alone with the scary thought of no more Star Wars in the coming Summers...

God help us.

keep the fight

2005-05-16T17:03:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to update this blog since last week but the page just wouldn't open properly. So, I just abandon the urge and wait till the right time. But the time wasn't well lately. I've been feeling depressed and down for the last 3 days after it's clear that Glazer has been successful in his bid to takeover Manchester United.

I'm so crushed because I failed to keep my promise of joining Shareholders United, long before Glazer makes his move. At least, if I've joined SU before this, I won't be this sad because I know that I've done my part in the fight. Actually, this whole thing began 14 years ago when Martin Edwards turned MUFC into a Plc. Therefore, such takeover like this is a disaster waiting to happen. Sadly, it happens now and at the time when the club is arguably having its worst season since the Premiership starts.

I wish there's still light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small it is. We all just have to keep the Red Flag flying high.

perfect

2005-05-02T15:37:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was one of a few weekends in a quite long time when I really enjoyed it. It means that I have time to rest, do things that I'd like, and be happy doing it. It was great. On Saturday, I got the chance to stroll for ice cream, buy some snacks, enjoy the lazy afternoon, and even go for the 10 PM session of xXx: The Next Level. I'm not sure why it becomes "The Next Level" in Jakarta, instead of "State of The Union". But I think the sequel is much better than the Diesel-powered one. Ice Cube is really the cut-the-bullshit kinda a guy, and the story itself is more logical. Such a good way to pull the curtain on a wonderful Saturday.

The story on Sunday is equally wonderful with the good result from The Valley as a finale. United crushed the Addicks 4-0 with goals from Scholes, Fletcher, Smudger, and Rooney. What really pleased me was how the lads played the game. I don't think I've seen such determined & aggressive play apart from our games against Arsenal and Liverpool. It's just too bad, that we can't play that way in EVERY game this season. Another thing that made me happy was that Smudger finally got the goal he deserved after being assigned to the bench in favour of Rooney or Ruud. It's just perfect and couldn't get any better than this.

held hostage in sahara

2005-04-26T11:22:00.000+08:00

Those who expect to see another Indiana Jones while watching Sahara will be hugely disappointed after coming out of the theatre. From the opening credit, we're told that the good guys are "marine historian" who specialize in "marine salvage". The marine version of Indiana Jones, to be exact. The Holy Grail in the movie is apparently an Ironclad ship from Civil War bringing loads of gold coins that mysteriously vanished somewhere in Africa. But then, most of the movie talk about a disease outbreak in Mali, chemical waste, and corrupt warlord! So, where's the Ironclad?? It eventually was discovered, and easily predictable. What a waste, considering if the movie stays true to its course of finding Ironclad, it might become more interesting for the audience.

Bruce Willis is back as a hostage negotiator who failed in his last assignment and then moved to a small town to exorcise his demons. The story revolves around a trio of punks who held an accountant and his family hostage. The twist is, apparently, the accountant works for a powerful mafia, and they want Willis to solve the case and get something that they want. For insurance, the mafia also held Willis' wife & daughter hostage. So, our hero uses his wit and might to outsmart the punks & the mafia at the same time while keeping the cops off his ass. It's quite thrilling but there are so many loose ends here that are quite disturbing and won't let go even after you're back at home. But I think, they'll all be solved if you read the novel from which the movie was based on. My verdict, Hostage is much better than Sahara. At least, Bruce Willis doesn't need to try so hard to be funny. Poor Steve Zahn

habemus Papam!

2005-04-21T09:18:00.000+08:00

Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum;
habemus Papam:

Eminentissimum ac Reverendissimum Dominum,
Dominum Josephum
Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae Cardinalem Ratzinger
qui sibi nomen imposuit Benedictum XVI

the last 4 days

2005-04-19T09:48:00.000+08:00

- Seagate 5.0 GB USB 2.0 pocket hard drive

- Microsoft, PO, Fulfillment Zodiac promo

- Microsoft, PO, Redemption

- Microsoft, Invoices, No. 135, No. 136

- FedEx Duri Kepa

- Ayam bakar Ganthari

- Oscar's autistic journey

- Siomay Atma Jaya

- Tahu goreng Atma Jaya

- Kinokuniya, The Straits Times Saturday edition

- Kinokuniya, pre-order Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

- 100 pages of Michael Crichton's State of Fear

- Ruud, Scholes, Ruud, Ronaldo at Flanagan's

- Semen Cibinong, Non-disclosure agreement

- Super Kitchen, "light, veggie-filled lunch"

- inlingua, class postponement

- Carlson Marketing Services

- Sovereign Asset Management

- Nasi gudeg krecek + telor

shipment tracking

2005-04-14T14:34:00.000+08:00

*Beavis & Butt-head mode on*

FedEx shipment tracking application is cool ehehehhee...I get to see where my package is, and right now the last location of my package is Subic Bay Freeport in the Philippines. I can't wait to lay my hands on it!

Date/Time

Activity

Location

Apr 14, 2005

6:02 AM

Departed FedEx location

SUBIC BAY FREEPORT PH

12:23 AM

Departed FedEx location

SUBIC BAY FREEPORT PH

Apr 13, 2005

5:56 PM

In transit

PARANAQUE PH

5:55 PM

In transit

PARANAQUE PH

Apr 12, 2005

2:55 AM

Departed FedEx location

OAKLAND, CA

Apr 11, 2005

10:51 PM

Departed FedEx location

OAKLAND, CA

6:55 PM

Left origin

UNION CITY, CA

6:40 PM

Arrived at FedEx location

OAKLAND, CA

12:06 PM

Picked up

FREMONT, CA

Apparently, Oasis is having a new video "Lyla" coming out. I'm anxious to see what Liam & Noel still have under their sleeves. It's been a while since their last decent album, and their last decent album is (What's the Story?) Morning Glory.

see me. hate me

2005-04-12T16:08:00.000+08:00

Life has been really slow today. There's not much to do in the office, and I just have to stay here for the 3.30 meeting. Most of my mind lately have been wandering towards what I am and where I stand now. To be honest, I feel that I've been a huge disappointment for my parents and also my wife so far. I've let them down in so many occasions and I think I've done nothing to pay them back. Something needs to change. I need to change coz I'm so sick of myself right now. To make it worse, things aren't really conducive for the time being and my mind has already looked like a dark labyrinth with no way out whatsoever. Step into it and you'll know what I mean. But then, nobody with a sound state of mind would want to do it.

So, what now? I haven't seen that silver lining that you promise me. All I see is myself looking back at me full of hatred with what he sees.

worst day

2005-04-11T16:49:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday must have been one of the worst days in my entire life so far. The worst in the most possible way. Half of my precious Saturday was lost in doing unimportance stuff that I hated most and it's not even for me!!!. Enough is enough, I reached the limit of my patience, and no anger management could prevent me from blowing my top off. I told my wife that "mendingan gue dimusuhin daripada gue jadi gila sendiri! *supply your own F-word here*

To top it off, United was totally humiliated. Our opponent was more determined, they wanted it more than us, so I think we deserve the beatings. It's always hard for me to take whenever United lost, but this one it's even harder to take.

exercise

2005-04-07T16:23:00.000+08:00

The more I look at my stomach, the more I'm convinced that I need to join that Celebrity Fitness. It's not about why it should be Celebrity Fitness, but it's more because they're offering free joining fee and other stuffs, and not to mention that it's quite near from my office. So, whenever I like it I'll just drive there and have a good sweat for 1 or 2 hours.

Time has really changed now. I used to disagree with this kind of thing, because for me if you want to lose weight, all you gotta do just doing any kind of sport and watch what you eat. In my case, with where I live now, there's no way I can play hoops or even jog. Therefore, joining Celebrity Fitness seems like the best option from the worst.

Fitness or lifestyle? Fuck 'em all, I just want my flat tummy back!!

it's a dog!

2005-04-05T10:12:00.000+08:00

We have a dog. She's a Basset Hound and she looks like that dog in the picture. We bring her to our home since last Saturday and she had gotten used to her new environment.

Her name is Dogmatic, and if you're a big fan of Asterix & Obelix, you must know that Dogmatic is Obelix's dog. Another Basset Hound, which is Dogmatic's brother, stays in my brother-in-law's home for his kids and his name is Obelix. So, you see that there's no way a dog is named Dogmatic without Obelix.

The funny thing is I'm the only one who calls her "Matic" while the rest of the family calls her "Matrix". Matic is still about 3-month old and she can't even climb to her cage. She's so funny & cute, but she stinks. Fortunately, my wife has bought the grape dog powder, so Matic is not as smelly as before.

My father-in-law and my wife are quite happy now because at least they have another thing to occupy their minds, and I write like an elementary school kid.

adieu

2005-04-04T10:12:00.000+08:00

Requiescat in pace, Pater

Let's light candles in our windows, and may they light up the road to God for him, the way he did for us...

screwing up

2005-03-31T09:51:00.000+08:00

Ever since I work as someone else's employee, I have this mantra that I always try so hard to keep: "Don't screw up". I think during the last 5 years, I've managed not to screw up. But yesterday, I guess I might have screwed up. *heavy sigh*

I don't know. I just hope things will turn out fine later today.

easter rendezvous

2005-03-30T10:14:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to update this blog since Monday, but works have been so cruel to me. So, the only free time I have is only like 15 minutes today.

I guess last Easter weekend was the best one I've ever had. My wife's cousin came to Jakarta together with her boyfriend from San Francisco and we were asked to accompany them going around Jakarta. It was nice for the fact that I got to visit the places I wouldn't be visiting normally. In the end, we're the guide and also the tourist :P The cousin offered us her apartment whenever we managed to get the visa and went to the States, and they even told us that they're willing to write any sponsorship reference if necessary. I thought "what the heck", just apply for it and see what happens. But that would mean wasting 2 million rupiahs which we don't have at the moment. Fingers crossed.

Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my Granny's departure from this life. I'd planned to spend some time last night to pray for her. But The Bone Collector and tiredness made me forget that, so I guess it must be done tonight. I hope you're well taken care of up there, Pho. We all miss you.

PS: The time and date of this blog still follows the American one. So if you're reading it, please adjust your time accordingly.

black, lonely, & busy

2005-03-24T13:28:00.000+08:00

This is the new England home kit for the next two years. It's not very much different from the last away kit. Umbro apparently really likes the idea of the St. George Cross on the shoulder, besides that they still put the World Cup winner star. This time, it's above the Three Lions badge. I don't think it's not good, I still like the previous home kit better even though its reversible concept is really troublesome. Umbro, please sack the guy behind reversible idea for your jersey!!! It's not suitable for those who happen to have, erm, "irregular" tummy, like me.

It's a very hectic day in the office for me. That's the consequences from yesterday meeting. We still couldn't satisfy this one guy's expectations. It's very hard to shoot the target, if the target is very abstract and ever changing. We're close to the point of giving up this project but we decided to give it one final shot. One shot, one kill. That's all it takes.

While revising the slides and Excels, I still have time to change the looks of this new blog. I'm quite dissapointed because we can't change the colors of the design. So, I'm forced to change the design into this current one. That's the best from the rest, me thinks.

Better stop now, I only have another 90 minutes to finish job and go home for the Church. Happy Easter, folks!

chapter 1

2005-03-23T11:34:00.000+08:00

Geez, another blog! After meddling around in the Control Panel and such, I think this new blog is very enhanced. The editing of the design is easier for the beginners. But it doesn't mean that I'll abandon my LiveJournal, it's been very dear to me and I'll do my best to keep updating it. So for now, just gimme some time to handle my income source first.

Later..